If you grew up in America with unusually athletic parents like me you probably played little-league baseball. I was just terrible. When I explain my extensive (1 season) playing days in little-league I always joke about being the kid in the outfield that picked dandelions. You know, the one with his hat on sideways kneeling in the grass not even remotely paying attention to the game. In fact it was much worse than that. Not only did I do little to help my team but I rode the bench until the later innings. Those dandelions were safe until then. Out of like 15 kids on our team, I was like #13 or 14. Come to think of it, I guess me sitting on the pine was good for the team. But the great thing for my young ego was that no matter how I played or where our team finished in the standings, I always got a trophy. It was a nice feeling, I admit, to at least get something at the end of the season.
That was when I was 6. Over the last 18 years I learned how to win and lose with dignity (most of the time). It’s how people mature after earning accolades that not everyone gets and equally when they are bested by someone else. You learn to tip your cap and move on. It’s how children become adults. But what the presidents of Cincinnati and Xavier have done goes completely against that development that we as human beings usually go through as we grow up. That’s one of the reasons why renaming the Crosstown Shootout the Crosstown Classic makes zero sense.
Before I continue I should clarify that I have no beef with the fact that they are moving the annual game to U.S. Bank Arena. Right now, anyways. Other than the impending bloodbath between the fanbases, it should be a good game! I’m also not too upset that some of the proceeds, no matter how cashstrapped UC’s athletic department is, will be going to the Freedom Center. It’s a solid PR move that should work out well in the future.
But to change the name of this storied rivalry game because of the fight last December is asinine. Here’s what happened. Both presidents and probably their respective board of trustees saw the fight then went into immediate cleanup mode. They heard terms like “gangsters” and “thugs” being thrown around and freaked out. “We can’t let that be associated with our university”, they thought. So to remove those words that are synonymous with “shootout” the powers that be decided to change the name to Crosstown Classic. Because we’re all morons and of course think that UC and Xavier players are strapped with 9 mm glocks everytime they walk onto the court against each other. It’s a scene right from the streets of South Central L.A. everytime the Crosstown Shootout is played. Obviously.
Seriously, these university leaders are probably the same people that make the knee-jerk reaction that soda is making American kids fat. No, parents are making American kids fat. Listen, if you have an obese child you’re either A) too lazy to take the soda out of their hands, B) don’t have control over them when they have a hissy fit that they can’t go to McDonald’s, or C) both and you should probably just give your kid up for adoption because you’re the worst thing to happen to them. Sorry to be harsh but, dude, force feed your children some carrots or something!
Back to the matter at hand, if these presidents think that changing the name from the Crosstown Shootout to the Crosstown Classic will make this rivalry any less fierce, they have another thing coming. Players and fans certainly don’t like each other. I’ll bet if your cornered Mick Cronin and Chris Mack they would admit that they hated each other. A simple name change or ‘rebranding’ as they are calling it won’t change the actions on the court or in the stands. What happens if another fight breaks out between UC and X in an upcoming game? Will they change the name again?
I guess we’ll just have to see what uneducated decision is made if that time comes. I guess there’s one silver lining; Thank God they stopped there and decided not to pass out trophies to players of both teams after the game, too.