Due to the much talked about scheduling issues for the Cincinnati Bearcats, they will be sitting out week 1 while the rest of the conference opens their season this weekend. But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy these Big East games while we’re lounging in the recliner with an alcoholic beverage in hand. So, UC fans, here’s a helpful guide to get you through this weekend as quickly as possible.
Kentucky locks its football team in their rooms for fear of embarrassment.
Chas Dodds locks Gary Nova in his room before the flight to New Orleans.
Tino Sunseri locks himself in his room for fear of his offensive line.
Youngstown State scores a touchdown against Pitt.
Chattanooga scores a touchdown against South Florida.
A UConn quarterback scores on himself.
Northwestern beats Syracuse.
Villanova beats Temple.
Chattanooga beats South Florida.
B.J. Daniels rushes for more yards than he passes.
A Rutgers wide receiver throws for more yards than the quarterback.
A UConn quarterback or Ryan Nassib throws for less than 100 yards.
Rutgers stops off at Bourbon Street en route to the Superdome.
Temple inadvertently spray paints “MAC-ATTACK” all over Villanova’s locker room.
A belligerent John Marinatto cuts the brakes of the Syracuse team buses.